Have you ever found yourself wondering, “What would happen if Shakespeare tried writing a mafia rom-com on a caffeine overdose?” Welcome to Yakuza Fiancé.
From romantic threats that would make even Cupid blush to dialogues that sound like they were written by someone with a split personality, this series is the ultimate buffet for anyone with a twisted sense of humour and a love for chaos.
But let’s get one thing straight: this isn’t your average lovey-dovey fluff. Oh no. Yakuza Fiancé brings a whole new meaning to the phrase “complicated relationship,” with quotes that’ll have you simultaneously laughing, cringing, and Googling “therapy for fictional characters.”
21 Wildest, Weirdest, and most WTF-worthy Quotes from Yakuza Fiancé
1. Yakuza Fiancé quotes
I honestly had high hopes for you, Yoshino. You’re not only the granddaughter of the leader of the Somei-gumi that’s affiliated with the Kirigaya-gumi but you’re also hot. I figured you were spoiled rotten, insanely selfish and probably some chic who thought the world revolved around her.
2. Kirishima Miyama’s Taste in Girls
I love girls who are hated by other girls. I absolutely love having some girl who doesn’t have a single girlfriend lead me on with absolutely no mercy or humanity.
3. Kirishima wants something Saucy
You don’t understand what I’m saying? Basically, you’re way more normal than I could’ve imagined so I got bored with you. I thought you would at least keep me entertained for a year but you’re already a pain to deal with now.
4. Yakuza Fiancé quotes
Though this is my own fault for having such high hopes for you. What do you want to do? Go back to Osaka? You can stay here if you want, but right now, you’re just some chick with absolutely no value to me.
5. Body < Cash
If you’re gonna stay, could you at least be of some use to me? You’re only good for your face and your body, right? Why not sell your body and make some cash? We actually work with an escort service.
6. Yakuza Fiancé quotes
If you work really hard, you should easily be able to make a million in two months. They pride themselves on quality and hygiene, too. Oh, you’ve got milder options like facials and vibrators, too. If you don’t think you can handle that, you can go home.
7. Let’s stir some shit
If you go back to Osaka, tell them exactly what I just said to you. It’d be awesome if this ends up starting some shit again. My life might actually be over. I can’t wait.
8. The time to beat
No matter how much they oppress you, no matter how much they ostracize you, no matter how much things don’t go right, don’t come back here for a year. Latch on like your life depends on it.
9. All men in my life are nothing but trash
Spend the next year makin’ that grandson of Miyama’s fall so madly in love with you that it kills him. And then after a year, dump his ass and come back home. That’s the best revenge you can get in a guy.
10. Yoshino’s cold-ass Avatar
I ain’t going back to Osaka. I could give a rat’s ass if you’re some masochistic piece of shit. No matter how much I try to make an honest livin’, I’m gonna die a real shitty death. Even if I’ve to crawl around on the floor and cough up blood. I’ll take y’al down to hell with me and ruin your lives!
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11. 🤤
I love you. I’ve never felt so excited in my life! Let’s absolutely get married! I want you to mess up my life! I’m really in love with you. I’ve got a boner right now!
12. Yakuza Fiancé quotes
Between how you won’t stick to simple rules and you’ve got other girls all over you. Anyone would figure it out after 1 or 2 weeks. You’ve got a mark on the back of your neck. Thing is I’m pretty good at picking up on that stuff.
13. Lover boy problems
Probably because my grandpa gets around a lot, if he had a kid with every one of his lovers, my family tree’d be more complex than a city map. You don’t have any kids running around already, do you? Well, get it together, lover boy!
14. What would you do if I told you he and I were going out?
That’s fine. I’ve arranged for my girls to be with other guys plenty of times before. So the idea of you having a good time with some guy from Osaka behind my back sounds great.
15. Live Po*n
Do you mind if I set a stipulation, though? You’re free to be with whomever you want, Yoshino and I won’t mind. But whatever you do, I want you to do it in front of me.
16. Yakuza Fiancé quotes
You know how people talk about the carrot and the stick? Well, I don’t mind there being no carrot. Getting hit with the stick feels much sweeter, anyway. That’s true in most cases but not with you. I feel hard for you and can’t seem to ever get a leg up. Which is why I want to make sure to balance the carrot and the stick.
17. Two-timing rules
So if you’re going to cheat on me, all of the sex and the kissing- make sure to do it where I can see. You can even tie me up if you want to. And once it’s over, I’ll kill the other guy. That way it all balances out.
18. Yakuza Fiancé quotes
I’ll become your idea of a normal guy. I don’t really have a good idea how it’d work and I’ve never tried it before. I think I can do a decent job, as long as you tell me what to shoot for.
19. So you’re willing to turn your life upside down just to please some chic?
I hadn’t said anythin’, but in the name of fairness, all cards on the table. My plan is that, after a year, I’m gonna ditch you and head back to Osaka. But I’ve made up my mind. On the off chance that I fall for you, I’m gonna stay in Tokyo.
20. All because I liked a Girl
Knowin’ you, I bet you’d be able to act like my ideal type, all right. But that’s sure as shit ain’t gonna make me fall for you. If the alternative is half-assing some normie act, then you oughta be the craziest bastard in the world instead! That’d be a damn sight better!
21. Yakuza Fiancé quotes
If I’m being honest, even though I love you now, I figured I would get bored of you some day but I was wrong. As long as you never change, I’ll never stop loving you, Yoshino. This marks our first step towards marriage.
