Komi Can’t Communicate intro:
“When a person has extreme Social Anxiety also known as Social Phobia. They struggle to communicate with others. Here’s something to consider they are only struggling, it doesn’t mean that they don’t want to form long-lasting connections or friendships”.
Komi Can’t Communicate is a high school Slice of life, Comedy Drama that features a girl named Komi( also known as the Goddess of her school because of her overwhelming beauty) who struggles to communicate with others i.e she has social anxiety and how she goes about tackling that issue.
Here are 10 ways of overcoming social anxiety just like Komi:
1. Make Friends
When fighting social anxiety having friends by your side can be your greatest weapon. Everyone needs a friend. The fact that you can select who you want to be friends with is the finest aspect about it. You’re desperately in need of friends if you suffer from social anxiety.
The social part of your problem will be solved right as soon as you take the first step towards making friends. Though it may initially sound intimidating, I assure you that you won’t regret making the first move in the long run.
At the beginning of high school, Komi had no friends at all. However, ever since she approached Tadano, she has made more friends than she could have imagined. Her life has completely changed when she started hanging out with friends. Though it may seem daunting, taking the initial step is the most crucial one.
2. Take One Simple Step At A Time
Occasionally, when we are attempting to improve things, we have a tendency to overthink and take unnecessary risks. It’s not advisable to go all out on the first day. Try not to rush things and focus on one task at a time. As the saying goes, “a good beginning is half done.”
Komi demonstrates to us how to do this. She hopes to have a large social circle in high school. As a result, she doesn’t approach everyone at once. She begins by conversing with Tadano initially and continues doing so for some time in order to gain confidence before going on to another person. It might only seem like a small step, but it’s still a step forward.
3. Challenge Yourself By Starting to Say ‘Yes’
Unless we break out of our comfort zone, we can forget growing. Real change starts with the desire to change, backed by continuous efforts. The best way to become a better version of yourself is by saying ‘Yes‘ to things.
People with social anxiety have one answer to everything: ‘No‘. If you keep saying no to going shopping with your friends or going to a party with them, then I am sorry, my friend; no real change is going to transpire. Attempting to answer “Yes” more frequently could seem daunting at first, but you’ll be happy you made the decision to go through those experiences later on.
Komi has trouble communicating with her friends. But still, she tries to say Yes to doing things with them like going out to eat ramen and shopping.
4. Break Out Of Your Comfort Zone
Comfort Zone is a state where things feel familiar to a person and they are at ease and in control of their environment. As long as we keep ourselves confined to our comfort zone, no real progress is going to take place. You might think you have everything under control but that’s far from the truth.
When this happens you stop striving to achieve your goals, you stop challenging yourself, you let opportunities slip by, and you become overly complacent.
The only way to grow is by stepping outside of your comfort zone. As Neale Donald Walsh once said, “Life begins outside of your comfort zone.”
Talking to people is something that is outside Komi’s comfort zone. So she conveys her feelings through her writing. Just the thought of conversing with others sends chills down her spine, so you can imagine how much courage it took for her to take her friends on the offer of going Karaoke.
5. Start By Saying ‘Hi’ To Your Friends
People with social anxiety tend to keep a wall between themselves and the people around them. The simplest way to breach this wall is by starting to say ‘Hi‘ to them. It’s as simple as that. A simple greeting like that shows that you are interested in talking to them and makes you seem a lot more approachable.
Komi has been dealing with her problem of not being able to communicate with others since her childhood. But all that starts to change after she makes her first-ever friend, Tadano. Though Tadano is her friend, she still struggles to even say something as basic as a ‘Hi‘ to him, but when she does, it makes it a lot easier for him to talk to her.
6. Buy Yourself A New Outfit
People with social anxiety suffer from low self-esteem and have no confidence in their abilities. One way to overcome this identity crisis is by remodeling your wardrobe. Go shopping to buy a new outfit for yourself. Buying clothes for yourself is going to help you understand what you want and how you want others to perceive you. Plus, it’s the best way to bring joy to your life. When you have social anxiety, happiness is already scarce in your life. So take every chance you get to end that.
For the first time, Komi and her friends went clothing shopping together. So far, her mother has handled all of her shopping. She is therefore unsure about what to purchase. Leveraging this chance, her friends set up a contest to see who would choose the most elegant outfit for Komi. A simple thing like shopping turns into such a fun activity. You won’t know how things will turn out unless you give it a try right?
7. Set Goals
Creating goals for yourself is the most important first step toward overcoming social anxiety. Unless you don’t know what you want to accomplish, How the hell do you expect yourself to achieve it? A clear path is essential for achieving anything, and your goals define that path.
Komi’s ultimate goal is to become friends with 100 people. To make that a reality, she has various short-term goals, such as going shopping, going out to eat ramen, celebrating her birthday, and participating in the annual cultural festival with her friends.
8. Keep It Simple
Always keep things simple. Just because you have social anxiety doesn’t mean you have to try every trick in the book to overcome it. I mean you already have your hands full with your social phobia so when you start to make positive changes avoid complicating matters. You are just inviting more trouble for yourself.
In the anime, Komi knows she finds it difficult to verbally communicate with her classmates. So she uses a notebook to convey her feelings through her writing. Trying hard to overcome your phobia is not enough. How you go about doing it is as important.
9. Have A Shoulder To Lean On
Ask someone for help, most possibly a friend. Having a person who is willing to listen to your problems and give you support and encouragement is a game-changer. It doesn’t matter if he/she has the answers to your problems or not. As long as they lend you a listening ear is more than enough if you ask me.
In the anime, Komi has Tadano who listens to her problems and tries to support her in every way possible. He always looks out for her from a distance showing he cares but at the same time lets Komi fight her way out of her problems on her own.
I don’t think you need to worry yourself about having a bunch of people to rely on having just one is more than enough. That goes for everyone, with social anxiety or without.
10. Embrace Who You Are!
Don’t be ashamed of yourself. Just because you have social phobia doesn’t mean you should reject yourself. Cherish being alone. There’s nothing wrong with giving yourself some alone time. That’s just who you are, it’s part of you so cherish it. And how do you expect others to like you, when you don’t like yourself to begin with?
Komi has trouble communicating with people something she has inherited from her father, who has social phobia himself. She is aware of that but she doesn’t try to hide it from everyone. She communicates through writing messages since she lacks verbal communication. Her friends still listen to her irrespective of how she does it. Being true to yourself should be your priority before trying to change yourself.
People with social anxiety also known as social phobia shouldn’t feel sorry for themselves. Don’t try to live your life the way others expect you to. Don’t try to change yourself to please/suit others. As long as you stay true to yourself, eventually, you will be surrounded by people who accept you for who you are despite all your quirks.
